Absolute Johannes factotum
- SCP-5506 (?)
- SCP-5506 is a dangerous, uncontainable entity that manifests through specific coffee blends, primarily those used by Dunkin' in espresso products. When individuals consume these blends, they become SCP-5506-1 instances, undergoing a horrific transformation where they exude coffee from their eyes, vomit coffee grounds and teeth, blister their skin, and eventually liquefy into coffee and blood, often at extremely high temperatures. This entity, which claims to be "coffee" itself, seeks to "wake up" humanity and be worshipped, and its manifestations are becoming more frequent and severe, leading to mass casualties and a potential global crisis. The Foundation is trying to hide the health benefits of coffee and discredit its consumption to slow its spread, as there is no known way to stop a manifestation once it begins.
- Mock Turtle (?)
- The Mock Turtle is a fictional character from Lewis Carroll's 1865 book, *Alice's Adventures in Wonderland*, whose name is inspired by the popular Victorian dish, mock turtle soup. Illustrated by John Tenniel, the character is depicted as a creature with the body of a turtle and the head and feet of a calf, humorously reflecting how mock turtle soup was made from calves to imitate real turtle soup. This melancholic character, believed to have once been a real turtle, tells Alice about his school days in the sea, famously stating his teacher was called "Tortoise because he taught us!"